To my best best best pren

Hey why are u so sad and depressed:( I know it has been tough all these while for you , for all the bullshits u had to carry , all the tears u had to wipe away every night , for all the upset moments u had to swallow down each and everytym . Haish especially when it happens because of ur parents . I can understand the bias , rly , i can becus i had been through last time . I used to tink alot and cry under my blanket but trust me , tings will be fine . Maybe u might tink i said this in my perspective but it will , someday . Times will get it settled . For now , u can tell me all the craps , im willing to listen to u . Im ur 1⃣1⃣1⃣1⃣ fans ❤❤ HEHEHEHE well and the friendship , tat is one ting that i cant help u but i can continue to be ur bestpren :b but  im sure he will regret one day becus u r such a wonderful one but he chose to give up on the friendship. Trust me , one day , he will definitely regret . AnDDDDDDDD dont feel insecure anymore , next time i show u my fats , den u will know why i ask u dont:(((( so pls HAISHHHH HAHAHA okay after o's den gym everyday for hours , lose fats YAYYYYYY alright u r such a perfect fren , one of the reason why i dont regret to come to sengkang . Hehehe study hard , dont secretly cry liao , anything call me @ 999

心里有什么？

朋友的定义是什么
朋友对我来说的意义有是什么
我总觉得自己不被需要
走在哪儿，每个人只是擦肩而过
心情是什么，没人看得见
甚至没人管
只要我笑着，别人就觉得我是快乐的
只要我沉默，别人就以为我什么也不懂
其实我什么都懂
你们就懂得我的表面，谁又试过真正了解我
心里有许多话，只能往心里吞
何时才有一个人能听我说
现在，我也只是一个人
曾经有人问我，你能有什么烦恼
对，我表面上什么问题都没有
不代表我没有
只是藏在心里，谁都不说
委屈往心里吞
我的痛谁都不懂
完全不懂

Why would you?

They always say time changes everything.
Is it true?
Have been waiting for more than 3 years ,
3 years have passed like this
Nothing changes but you.
From such a nice and good gentleman
To like somebody who feel like a stranger
Time changes you but why not us ?
Why would you? 
Because of such small matter?
That isnt you .
Why did you even .
Why
Whenever i thought of you
I feel so upset
Heartaching
"Forget it" is what i always said
But deep down i still care
Like alot
Promised to move on
Yet
I still cant .
Still liking you is never a sad thing
But
What males me sad right now
Is the fact that u change
A huge tranformation.
Are we back to stranger ?

Left with emptiness

Heelo readers , its been long since i updated my blog😌. March , well how exactly should i describe about it? Averall , its been quite well but definitely there would be some unhappiness throughout the whole month . Its ending soon , how do u find March then?😊 Well the happiest thing that happened during March was the outing with magellan . Its not a long day with them , it was short indeed but im already feeling thankful and happy about it because finally got to meet them after so long . I miss all of them so much , the feeling when u see your 5 days soul mates although not everyone turned up.😄 Sigh i really miss being together with magellan during obs . It doesnt really feel the same even though we still can meet up . For me , i dont know why but it feels like part of it has gone and it feels really weird and empty after all .Anw , just saying haha . Another thing was during cultural night , it was so called a wonderful night ? Part of it was because we finally got to meet Juowi and Jamal , it was really really short meet up but im glad still because its rarely we can meet them .
To be honest , sometimes i feel like banging the wall , yes i am having so called a happy life but that feels really empty . People could see me laughing everyday in school , but when im alone at home , its not the same . I feel like i am not working hard for o level , o level is just around the corner, okay maybe not but what am i doing was probably slacking like using phone to text and all kind of useless stuff . Common test 1 was totally screwed up and so was the first half of common test 2 . How can i even forgot there was another 10 marks question when section C is always 20 marks . I just feel like im so dumb , i mean why , i dont know , i really dont know . I need someone who always be right by my side to listen to me but who else is really there for me? Best buddy , well i lost him , totally . Who was the one who said will treasure the friendship but then back out and probably have another one rn . People who tell me "im always right here for me , dont worry " , well i dont trust your words , i am sorry but i really dont because all those are jist lies. No one has ever proved me wrong because whenever i need someone,  no one is here for me . N-O O-N-E . Well friends , yes obviously i can say that i have a lot but i need friend who will be there for me no matter what . But well reality kills because i dont have any . Hahaha well its like that because life still goes on . It has been a good ranting time , enjoy the night guys , bye😊

Definition of happy

Im happy with all people that I know . Small matters really dont bother anymore , I dont want to lose anymore friends , really not anymore . Really appreciate people who brights my day up with little things that I didnt expect . Good memories will stay , but aint all the bad memories , they will definitely fade away , permanently deleted from my mind. Thank you guys for entering my life 😊😊😊😊

Does everything stays?

Hello readers , its been long since I had updated my blog , was actually quite busy with homeworks and camp. Camp was definitely awesome , its like really second best camp compared to obs , it reminds of days with magellan . Group 7 , definitely ain't a perfect group but to me , they are like the best bunch of cute kids that made me laugh , made me really pissed and made me enjoy camp most importantly . Ain't only the kids , but the leaders and the instructors . Sigh just hope that I could really go back to the camp so I wouldn't be feeling sad and stressed up all day now.

Ever since o level results released , my stress level has increased to 80% . Im just so afraid of my o level , just by thinking of it can motivate me from using phone to do homework . Looking back at my past years results , it sucks to the core , I just hope by putting all efforts in studies could help me get good results . #crossfinger

And everything seems so different now . I finally realised everything last Thursday night . I realised I have no one by my side , literally no one . Yes , I have my bestfriend but she's not there when I need her , either busy or she was sad too . Also my best bud but it just feels weird to tell him everything , feels really awkward . When I am upset , I just hope theres someone who actually bother to ask whether I'm okay without telling them like hey I'm sad , comfort me . But hah sadly there is no one . Thats when I finally found out I got no one to talk to when I swallowed everything down too much . Tears probably my best listener now , I don't know what to do with all these problems . Family , hah , feel really left out when im back to any home . I thought maybe I can feel more comfortable after all when I'm back home but then nope , even more sad . I miss having someone to talk to , where is Nayab , I miss her😔 2014 , it could be a really bad year , all the feelings are back and now I got no one by my side . So nothing stays.